May 2013
julietspencers:
fetuses do not think
they do not “scream out” when they are aborted
they have no brain function and no nerve endings until long after the deadline for a legal abortion
they aren’t “sad” when you abort them
they do not “realize what is happening”
And these aren’t my beliefs, they’re scientific facts
sparkafterdark:
glamour-parade:
How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you
I’m pretty much positive that’s why poetry was even invented in the first place.
mycroft-holmes-approves:
sodamnrelatable:
Diet ideas: Eat whatever you want, and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too.
boygrimlark:
scout-ebubbles:
docot:
freddybenson:
leovaldezstyle:
freddybenson:
A
B
C
the brazilian wandering spider’s venom can give you an erection lasting for hours
D
E
antisociallysplendid:
memyselfandhate:
iamonlydorb:
sucysucyfivedolla:
the inside of your butt is warm enough to hardboil an egg
oh no I’m not falling for this one again
what
again?
10000bc:
fuck i hate when children cry like why cant you just internalize your emotions like the rest of us
nicotinehearts:
omigawdmatt:
racheyzane:
do you ever look at somebody and wonder how they moan during sex
no but thanks now i have a new habit forced upon me whenever i go out
i think about this post at the most inappropriate times and it has ruined my life
the-vashta-nerada:
my older sister is getting a law degree but she needs to have extra classes that aren’t related to law to complete it so she’s taking tree climbing 101
as in
a class that teaches you how to climb trees
let’s talk about the american education system
psilentasincjelli:
If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and...
e-n-o:
*shy but actually a sex freak*
dearmisswhite:
crazyboutthemwranglerjeans:
“Can I ask you something?”
The single scariest phrase in the english language, guaranteed to make your heart drop
right behind “we need to talk”
hitlersasshole:
my standards are unreasonably high im like a walrus going after a peacock
thecalmwasdeceptive:
survivor-trek:
geekboots:
to meekly go where other people have already been
shy trek
into darkness (but with a night light)
assbutt-in-the-garrison:
justxlosersxlikexme:
So here’s the plan, we give all the angels Redbull
amoying:
give birth to the roof, feed the roof, nurture the roof,
raise the roof
hatrickstump:
today in history class we had this easy quiz and the question was who is the vice president and i raised my hand to say joe biden but i accidentally said joe jonas
ambitiousbard:
just be grateful that bing didn’t buy tumblr
br000t:
se4h4ven:
toxic-ponies:
how are middle schoolers sexually active I wasn’t even socially active
I’m still not socially active
I’m not even active
attains:
attains:
if i were a murderer i’d be the febreze murderer and lead my victims blindfolded to undisclosed locations and i’d ask them what they smelled and they’d be like “omg ocean air and tulips” and then i’d rip off the blindfold and it would be A PILE OF THE BODIES OF MY PREVIOUS VICTIMS
my mom made me go to a therapist because of this
all-hail-the-moffinator:
sackville-baggins:
sackville-baggins:
Maybe this time when I read Order of the Phoenix Sirius won’t die
He died.
I read somewhere that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results.
elysionsprincess:
vanehsensei:
slenderlock:
singarequiem:
techno4tomcats:
People are insane on this product review of a banana slicer
No seriously
oh my fucking god
OH MY GOD I REBLOGGED THIS BEFORE I READ THE COMMENTS AND HOLY FUCK
I CAN’T BREATHE
“I tried the banana slicer and found it unacceptable. As shown in the picture, the slices is curved from left to right. All of my...
satans-fabulous-blog:
morphingly:
brightredkettle:
are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes
with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
repeating-serenity:
my little brother wrote about me for school and this was one of the sentences he wrote. im sobbing “my sister is my role model because she can watch 12 years worth of law and order in 3 months”
fupaccino:
downtherabbittthole:
if ur ever sad just remember that this nun looks like Josh Hutcherson
YO THERE’S SPIT ALL OVER MY LAPTOP SCREEN
rnackenzie:
im-just-a-moose:
rnackenzie:
why is mobile blogging so stressful
at least u have cell phone, moose only have landlines
what
itsvondell:
contrary to popular belief, elephants CAN jump, they just never do, because they can’t
Superwholock!!!: we-wont-break-we-wont-die:... →
we-wont-break-we-wont-die:
starfleetgrad:
wizardroryweasley:
helloopandee:
how do people enjoy running wtf
pretend you’re running:
away from zombies
with The Doctor
away from Hellhounds
with Sherlock and Dr Watson
away from Croats
it’ll get considerably more…
how do i uninstall anxiety
